You’ve been dating for a while. When you first met, everything you’ve ever wanted a man you thought you found. As time goes by, however, things start to change. He doesn’t act like he used to, and things start to get confusing. Fights he’s clearly responsible for somehow get turned around on you. You feel like you’re missing something, and if you could just fix this one thing, everything will be back to how it was in the beginning. However, you still have that pit in your stomach that never seems to go away. You want your boyfriend to just love you like how everyone else’s does. You realize that this seems so distant, so unobtainable, how does everyone else seem to be happy, and you’re caught in a nightmare?
If this is you, you may have already realized that you could be dating a narcissist. This might be one of the most difficult situations that you didn’t even realize you were getting into and then all of a sudden.. Bam! You’re right there stuck in the middle. And when I mean stuck, I mean like, people have tried to tell you he’s no good and that went in one ear and out the other. Now, all you can think of is your relationship.
If you haven’t read about narcissistic abuse yet, here are check out these simple ways to identify a narcissist. If you, as I once did, read these articles and are suddenly convinced that Ashton and his crew must have been following you around for a while, or else how would anyone know verbatim what he’s done and said to you? Or how picture perfect you two were in the beginning? You read on and realize this has happened before, to someone else. Then you suddenly think, “So wait a minute, I’m not the crazy one?”
You are not the crazy one. In fact, many people have already experienced what you are experiencing now, including myself. Shocking? Let me explain to you very simply what your options are. If I’ve been spot on so far, you can assume I know what lies ahead of you.
You, my friend, have two options. I’m afraid to say that neither one of them are going to appease the little voice in the back of your head has been telling you. ” Maybe though, one day, things will be the way they were in the beginning. Maybe him and I are different.” Has anything in your relationship been different then what I’ve written so far? If that answer is no, then I’m afraid that’s out. Maybe your married or have kids or have been dating for a while, it doesn’t make a difference. The answer to that question is no. The sooner you break that DEFINITE news to that little voice, and tell it to take a hike, the better. Because one of your options is based on this, which I will now be discussing further.
This option may be the hardest thing you will have to do, as it was for me, but I swear to you it saved my life. Here’s the thing: a narcissist is a narcissist and that is not going to change. No matter how many calls/texts/doorbell rings/gifts/flowers/apologies/actual tears/pleads and begs you receive if you tell him your leaving him. That last sentence is going to be your biggest challenge. Because as soon as you realize that a narcissist is basically body who feels nothing (so therefore in my mind I look at it as not even a human), the quicker you will make a run for it. This robot from outer space doesn’t like losing his cover, because more people will know he’s a robot, not a lovable guy who everyone can’t get enough of!
Here’s my tips for leaving the narcissist: it’s going to be difficult, always remember: this is NOT a human. This is an alien from some foreign land. Back off slowly if you can, start getting into the things you knew and loved before the invasion, maybe even start talking to some new people. Start setting up your new life. Start the healing process here. When your ready, do NO CONTACT. NEVER answer the phone or read a message, this is an ALIEN for crying out loud! It’s weird get it away from you! Don’t entertain it’s games you don’t even know what planet it’s from! Ew weird weird weird. Ew.
You are going to need emotional help through this. I have some great tools in that area that I will be sharing with you that will not only have you over the narcissist, they will get you BEYOND where you were when you started dating him. I mean, obviously we’re going have to address why an alien was so appealing to you in the first place right? Especially since we do NOT want this to happen again! Let’s fix you!
If you’re the brave soul that wants to know the other option: here it is. You can stay with the narcissist, and just accept the way things are. They will never get back to the beginning, but you are willing to fight. Maybe you think you have invested too much time and effort already. My opinion there is why waste one more second? Only thing worse than 30 years is 30 years and 1 day, and so on and so forth. But you make your own decisions in life, and I’m just here to offer support. My best word of advice here is to educate yourself on what you’re dealing with and how to accept it. I have some self empowerment links to help you with this option as well.
I hope this blog has helped clear up any confusion or issues anyone has been dealing with or has dealt with and didn’t know what to do. I’d love some feedback on this post and any additional tips/advice/comments/opinions would be much appreciated! Thanks for reading!