Abuse is Not a Life Sentence

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program by Melanie Tonia Evans


A Letter From the Narcissist

Hey everyone,

It’s been a long time since I’ve had to deal with a narcissist in my life, the point of my blog is to get anyone who is in the situation I once was in OUT. I received this letter a few years back (and MANY others like this) and thought it could be helpful to share it with you. I think a lot of articles offer help but not many can really capture narcissism the way this letter does.

The major reason for this post is for you to read everything here and realize that not one thing, not one line, not one WORD of this has ever nor will EVER be true. I didn’t read it twice, I didn’t even finish reading it to be honest until I decided to post it here today.

You may feel that maybe just maybe one of the many things the Narcissist claims might be true. You have that small part   of you that thinks but what if he DOES actually change? What if I’m the one ruining this by ignoring him?  

I can assure you one thing – it’s never going to happen. And it’s never going to be your fault. I say that with full confidence after reading tons of letters similar to the one below.  

I’d love to get some feedback on anyone who reads this! Comment below with your thoughts!

“I guess this is pretty embarrassing for me huh? Lol Ironically, through much patience on my end, turning my back for 2 years on any sort of new relationship opportunities, I actually am afforded the opportunity, when you DO NOT have a boyfriend and you still won’t unblock or acknowledge me. Lol Gee-wiz! Damn! Love is very strange.
 I know you’ve seen this movie before babe, I do. But honestly, I’ve been holding onto the dream you may give me and “us” another or real chance to really flourish over a significant time grace period. I hoped, dreamed, wished you could find it in your heart maybe to give me one chance to prove my worth /allegiance to you. Especially if you became single once again. Allow me to display live and in person, the significant changes/progress I’ve made through grief, spiritually & love for both you and myself. Let’s be very clear, I understand I was not in right place our first time around, in which, I completely let you down. I’ve paid the price dearly babe. Trust me!

Many life changing epiphany’s lessons were learned on my part , when I single handedly drove away the ONLY girl I genuinely loved and cared for and still do, after all this time. I practically forced you to up and jump out my life.

One important lesson I learned, is that, in reality people can or will grieve forever. You just don’t ‘get over’ the loss of a close family member. You learn to live with it, to heal and then rebuild oneself around the loss suffered. You can be whole again but never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to. With that said, I understand I never want to go back to that time period, where I wrongly took everything out on you. That is in the past, where I’m keeping it and hoped to move forward with you to grow old together. But you’ve made clear to me for a while now, you have other plans. Your utter silence, one word responses (if at all), blocking protocols, etc. (lol), as each day passes, clearly depicts the same distinct answer you’ve stated for 2 years now. I was hoping you may give it some thought, but obviously your mind is made up and I have to move forward with my life as you have done yours.

“It’s really hard to hold on to the feelings that you have always held. To treat someone as ordinary, when in fact very special… to keep calm, though you’re obviously jealous… to move on your own, with an empty and totally wounded heart… to smile even in deep pain… to let go of the person you dreamt forever with… to accept reality of being just friends… and to give up everything… though inside, you still want to give a try!”

I love you! So much, you have no idea!




Can a Narcissist Be Cured?

Mel quoted me here at the end! This video has so much great information for anyone dealing with narcissists.

By Melanie Tonia Evans

10 Signs Your Dating a Narcissist

Do you ever feel like your relationship is spinning out of control and the only person that sees it is you? Or you feel completely trapped by your significant other but can’t really put your finger on why? You might be dealing with a narcissist. Here are 10 warning signs that you may have slipped into a relationship with one of the most toxic people ever to exist: The Narcissist. (But we were so perfect when we first met!)

1.No matter what the fight is about, it’s always your fault, even when you’re the person angry or mad because THEY did something wrong. (Common excuses include: “I never  said that”, “You’re crazy”, “No thats because YOU..”, “That never happened”, etc.)

2. You seem to be the only person that sees the Narcissist for who they really are. Everyone else thinks the world of him/her!

3.When you first met, it was love at first sight. You never thought you would be this lucky, and finally found “THE ONE”!

4.If you ever tried to leave the Narcissist, they come crawling back, claiming they will change and finally do all the things you wanted them to do because they love YOU so much!

5.Almost everything the Narcissist says is contradicted by his/her actions, leaving you confused about what’s happening.

6.You become isolated from your friends, family, colleagues, and community. (No one wants to hear you complain over and over about your relationship.)

7.No matter what happens you always think that maybe one day you can get back to the way things were in the beginning. (If only I could do a little bit more!)

8.The anxiety you feel from the Narcissist consumes you and at times he/she becomes your priority no matter what you are doing.

9.When you feel sad you can’t believe how incredibly cold he/she is to you. (Laughs when you cry, disregards that your upset entirely, etc.)

10.The final sign your dating a narcissist is when you lose yourself completely. You don’t know how or why, but the person you used to be just isn’t you anymore. You have become a stranger even to yourself. This is when you know you need to make a change!

If you can related to more than 5 of these warning signs, your dating a narcissist! Ahh! Don’t worry, I have the tools to help you out and you can find them here !

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program by Melanie Tonia Evans

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All the best! xo


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